how i became mew
by boredommaster
Summary: One day I died but I wasn't supposed now im back and I made my own dream a reality Pokemon is real as a parallel universe an Im the god of it traveling with a human Pikachu and my sister takes place in a Pokemon world where things are more realistic EX. tax funded Pokecenters contains swearing and a few dirty jokes.
1. Chapter 1

Hello today I got bored so I'm going to write a fic don't know if I will continue it but I'll try! Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon (but I wish I did)

Chapter 1

Hi I'm Joe today I died, but before I get into that I'll tell you about me.

Before this all went down I was about 5 foot 9 I had a sister who was always depressed and shut her self in her room. When she wasn't at school I really wish I had more contact with her but sadly I didn't. Her name is Samantha, but she goes by Sam.

Anyways today I was in my bedroomthin-king what could I possibly do? i couldnt chill with sam because her door is shu- my train of thought stopped mid sentence as Iwas sudnly i was floating in a black abyss. I died and was staring at my own dead body from the 3rd person. i looked up to realise a shapeless form had materialized above me, then suddenly a face apeared on it.

it said: "oh shit sorry i ment to kill dylan you see he was ment to die of a heart attack today in his sleep for various bad karma for misclennious things but mostly hitting on 6 year olds" I at this point was pretty dissapointed

"oh"

"cheer up i'll bring you back and for the trouble i caused grant as manny wishes as you can think of, but i will stop granting new ones once you leave."

"woah really thanks!" so i said

"first i wish to hav the power to hybridize my self with any fictional creature from any game, movie, anime, or media franchise up to 6 at a time. then i wish to be imortal with the ability to grant imortality, i wish to be able to make portles to universes i create. and wish i was part mew with all its abilitys. last i wish i was un catchable." the form grinned

"it is done have a good time"

"you too" i waved then suddenly i woke up.

as i awoke i heard sams horrible music and remembered my dream i smirked \

"theres no way that crap happened" i mutterd

then i went to comb my hair i looked in the mirror and nearly passed out i had two pink cat ears a long thin tail

"fuck yah it happened" i was so happy i could barly whisper. soon sam turned up her kindle and i was brought back to reality.

"Sam! turn that shit music down!" sam yelled "make me!" she turned it up the rest of the way. i smirked

"okay!" i could practicly see her roll her eyes. i exited the bathroom and opened the door with my mew halfs telekinesis and made her kindle levitate to me i turned it off and handed it back i looked up and smiled and started to laugh her face was priceless.

"h-how?" she asked

"easy first i died then i met with some god thing got my wishes granted and now here i am"

she looked at me and stared we must have stared for at least five minuts then she said

"shit i must be tripping bad"

"would you like a pikachu while your tripping?" i said rolling my eyes as i became a celibi jirrachi hybrid

"shure may as well" sam said rubbing her eyes

"sigh okay" i said making time pass` 525,600,000 times faster to me only.

"wish granted" i passed out. 60 seconds later i rose

"sam passed out huh" i turned my self into a zoroark hybrid and illusioned my self as

human and waited...when sam awoke i looked up

"now do you belive me" i handed her pikachu's ball

"this a toy?" she asked, i frowned

"please just humor me" i said

"fine" she tossed the ball and screemed as it opened

"aaaaaaaagghhhh!"

"HI!..why did she screem?" i ignored the pikachus question

"sam this is amper, amper this is sam."

"so it did happen, joe can amper stay"

"if she wants"

"yay" they both said in unison


	2. Chapter 2

read and review because seriously its easy to say "nice chapter" or you could request a pokemon to appear or even to happen also thank you Wolfsthrope Von Schlieffen for advice on format

I don't own Pokémon

Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning

"God that was a weird dream"

"What was it about?" I looked over to see Amper lying next to me half awake

"Oh nothing don't worry about it" I said getting up.

"Hey should we show Sam your universe?" Amper perked up "Yah!" "Ok let's go wake Sam she probably thought yesterday was just a dream so we should pull a prank maybe a clown?" I mused

"No a poltergeist" says Amper

"Yah let's do a clown and a poltergeist" I became a Zoroark Mewtwo hybrid

"OK let's do this you go in I illusion you to be a clown with glowing eyes and pointy teeth I'll hide and make everything but the bed float 6" up and you wake her once she wakes up I put her stuff down and drop the illusion"

"Sounds good to me" so we creeped over to Sam's Room I hid around the corner and made Amper look like the clown we talked about

"Okay in three two one now" Amper walked in and jumped on Sam's bed and stared at her as I made various things levitate. I kicked the wall.

"Joe wha- aghhhhhhhhhh!" Amper and I fell over laughing

"GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"Okay but do you want to go on a vacation?"

"One you cant do that two I have a paper due tomarrow so I could not if I wanted to three-" I cut her off

"I can time travel and I was talking about the pokemon world in kanto and jhoto also

every one in the house is imortal thanks to me and nomatter how long we take it will only pass 3 seconds here in this world"

"Wait isn't team rocket a mafia? I don't want to go any where near them."

"Yah we are going 1 year after they disbanded the second time"

"sure I'll go can mom go?"

"next time once she knows what's going on." I summoned a portal and we stepped through

we apeared on Pallet towns outskirts i turned to Sam

"Now we need to get a trainer id and under no circumstances may the residents of this world know of ours becaus team galactic will take it over if they know i will tell you who can know this secret but till then we are from golden rod in jhoto and we have no last or middle name okay."

"Cool so we can be trainers?"

"Yup" I said as I used mews transform to change my apearance I looked like the trainer in smash bros. brawl and transformed sam she looked like dawn with light brown hair

"Amper you can either fight or I can grant you the ability to switch between being a pikachu and a human with pikachu attacks and we can get a licence for you too"

Amper eyes widened

"you would give me an oppurtunity no pokemon has ever had... hell yah I wanna be a trainer!" amper was excited

"okay focus on a human form with no pokemon features and that will be your human form."

Suddenly there was a dim white glow and a brown eyed blonde teen stood before us in jeans and a yellow tshirt with a pichu on the front "how a do I look?"

"Great" I said Sam was wide eyed

"I love your shirt!"

"Yah it suits me I think" she replied I spoke up

"any ways we should get our trainer cards" its three now and registration ends at five but it takes thirty minutes to get to the lab so each of us will have half an hour to sign up assuming nobody else is there."

"Yah after that we should eat I'm hungry" amper said

"me too"

"OK fine but we need to go though let's walk" as we walked Sam asked

"where do we eat?"

"Pokecenters have tax funded cafeterias" amper said

"yah and they have torchic nuggets and miltank burgers" I added "you'll love them" Sam was horrified

"what!?" Amper rolled her eyes

"seriously where do you think meat comes from?"

"Cows and chickens duh"

"what are those" a random passerby asked I

"her imaginary friends" I said before Sam could awnswer thhe guy shrugged and walked away

"that was close" I sighed in relief and looked up

" well we got here in one piece i said lets see prof oak.


	3. Chapter 3

any ways I sure as hell don't own pokemon or team America

read & review

chapter 3

"Whoah is that a healing machene?" asked Sam as she stared at a large tube with a blue gell in it

"Its called a MR. cure. it can repair any body part flawlessly even the brain, it can work on humans and pokemon alike i helped with developement- holy shit joei thought i would never see my best bro again how you doing!" we turned to see Blue walk up in a lab coat. "are you the new trainers, do you know who joe is?"

"yah he's my brother" said sam

amper smirked "she thought she was triping balls when he showed her the ability it was hilarious"

"I know you know Amper you were his starter"

"wait i thought you went celibi jirachi hybrid and wished for her?"

"dude you didnt tell her?" Blue said shocked

your brother is the reason this world is real, Sam your brother is the god of the pokemon universe

sam was shocked "joe-"

"okay lets get her and amper starters" said blue clapping his hands

amper perked up "fucking finaly"

blue opened a suit case with starters fromeach reagion includeing orre (evee's)

sams eyes bugged "muuudkiiip omgomgomgomg i want mudkip" she said enthusiasticly

Amper shuddered "please no ground types" unfortunately nobody listened

blue turned to her "your turn" he said cheerfully

i leaned in "trust me when i say pick turtwig fire isnt its super effective on the kipster that sam got"

"okay" she said uncertainly

"here you go oh i also forgot 1 maserball and dex for each of you" blue handed them the balls the pokemon and pokedexes

"well i geuss we should go now" i said

"oh would you two like a tent?"

"Yah"

Once we got it we left.

As we walked down the street Sam saw we aren on route 1 "why are we on a street called pika boulavard?"

"Because there are more than just the paths from the games ya derp." said Amper

Sam scowled "I'm not a derp you asshole"

"Hey hey wait a second Sam's the asshole amper is a dick and you know what that means?"

"You are a pussy?" says amper

"No it means you two stop fighting or Sam is fucked and there is metaphorical shit all over every thing"

they both shut up "good now lets set up camp" as we set ip our small tenti realized we have an issue

"Houston we have a problem, our tent is to small" Sam joked

"You could go all palkia and make it a 3 bedroom house in side" Amper said

"That would work but there is no house to put in it."

"Just use our old house" Sam piped up

"But that will only work if we make one door a portle"

"Just do it already!" amper yelled

we lookedat her funny "what it's cold."

"okay to return turn the old tv in the basement on and off 2 times in 45 seconds to return out side the tent"

"why the tv?" sam asked

"so mom doesn't find it"

yah numb nuts Amper yelled

"Tell you what amper i will make the portle but you need tobe nice to sam"

"fine" she said

"okay we can go in now"

"I didn't say i would start now though"

"Son of a bitch amper return" I pocketed her ball and entered"

"where have you been!"

"oh shit its mom" i thought


	4. Chapter 4

I swear I don't own Pokémon just please don't sue me (whimpers pathetically)

Sorry for the wait school life sucks, any ways here comes the shit storm.:-)

Chapter 4

"Oh shit how long was I gone?"

Mom was furious "three days I couldn't find you or Sam where the fuck did you go"

"The basement"

"Huh?"

"We were in the basement I'll show you what we where doing"

"If you are fucking with me I will pawn all your video games and keep the money," she said

"Go ahead I have some thing way better now come on Sam you too"

We went down and I hit the power button 4 times and there was a large flash suddenly we were outside the tent

Well mom welcome to pika boulevard Kanto we are right outside pallet town and on our way to Viridian city to challenge yellow, the city's gym leader." I let Amper out "do you have any questions"

Three how is this possible, am I asleep and who is the girl

Amper walked up "hi I'm Amper Joe's pikachu it's nice to meet you!" she held out her hand

Mom hesitantly took it "Yeowww Jesus fucking Christ static"

"I guess you're not asleep"

"Yah but still how is this possible?"

"To put it simply I died and gained god powers cam back made this world went on a adventure got you and Sam and now here we are."

"At this point I'm willing to believe any thing and assume it was something I ate"

"Sam thought she was tripping too" Amper said

"Hey Amper why don't you let turtwig out"

"Why does your pikachu have a Pokémon, and is she really a pikachu"

"Amper I'll let you explain"

"I wanted to be a trainer so Joe granted me a human form so I can switch forms now see" there was a dull glow and when it dissipated Amper was a pikachu.

"Mom was dumb struck I have no idea what to say, also how can she talk? "

"All Pokémon can talk with a special collar, but I just taught her"

"We are going to go on a journey if you try to stop us you can go home just go in the tent"

"All right that's it this isn't safe come home now or I sell your wii" she yelled

"Alright sell this too while you're at it." I hand her a pocket-size healing machine "use it and you will cure any disease or ailment even a brain tumor or even death"

Amper turned human again "dude I want to know if three is an after life can I try"okaaayy…

"You are so weird" Sam said

BANG!

Amper dropped dead a gun fell from her hand and Sam and mom had looks of horror

I sighed and pressed a button a beam of light came out the bullet popped out and her skull and wounds closed.

She got up "damn I was in a fucking dark 6' by 6' room that was boring."

"I thought you were fucking around saying that!" Sam yelled "I though you were dead"

"The good news is every one here is now immortal and indestructible Amper give me the gun or you get q ball"

Damn" she said


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry it took so long to update, you can blame my English teacher. Mr. hale if you're reading stop assigning papers on a weekly basis. Any ways follow, read & review!

Chapter 5

"Mom you should go home before Amper gets any weirder than she already has."

"Weirder is even possible?" Sam asked incredulous

"yes-"

"I used to have 7 nipples!" exclaimed Amper

"Oh god not again."

"Used to, what happened to them?" Mom asked

"I cut off the original 6!" Amper said gleefully

"Screw you guys I'm going home" mom said heading to the tent

After she left we saw somebody heading over "hey you guys trainers?"

"Yep" Sam said

"Cool" he said pulling a gun "hand over all your Pokémon and no one get hurt"

"I got this Sam, here you go"

"Oh, well that was easy." the mugger said

As he reached for my balls I grabbed his gun and using magmar's flame body I melted the gun and threw the glob of molten metal in his face melting his face off

"Judgment day is here, tell all your mafia buddies" I said walking up reading his memories

I turned to Amper and Sam "Sam you can choose to go home or stay but I need to go to the Orre region and stop team cipher and snaggem they joined together according to this mans memories and can potentaly take over this world if I don't go."

Sam slowly spoke up "You can do literally any thing I'm going, you can protect me."

"Okay prepare to teleport"

"nooooo-" Amper yelled as she was cut off

suddenly the surroundings warped and snapped to shape the entrance to

"blaughhhh" amper regurgitated her lunch

"still get sick I see"

"fuck-urp splaaat you *couph* Joe" she said between waves of vomit

well maybe we wont talk about our 7 now 1 nipples

"nice joe" sam said "poor janitor though"

"Well considering the janitor over there is a lickitung you should probably pretend you didn't do it because he will be pissed" said sam

"dude sick" amper said

"I have to agree with amper that is a bad way to clean up puke" I said checking the light noticing it's dark "lets go to a pokecenter we are losing light" so we went and checked in to the phenac city pokcenter

"welcome to phenac city pokecenter how may I help you" said the purple haired woman at the desk

"yah we need 3 rooms"

"here are the keys, we hope to see you again!" she said

'Have a good day" I said

"HEY WHAT THE FUCK LADY, DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT US TO NEED TO COME BACK?! THIS IS A FUCKING HOSPITAL FOR SICK AND WOUNDED PEOPLE AND POKEMON." Amper yelled

"I'm sorry I didn't-"

"CRAM IT I HOPE YOURE WORK IS BETTER THAN YOUR GREETING-" Amper continued

Amper you have 3 choices: shut up, continue and we will go on a teleport spree, or the ball." I said reverting her to a pikachu much to the lady's surprise "3…2…1…"

"NEVER" Amper yelled defiantly

"ball it is"

"well shit" amper said

I returned her

"You didn't see any thing." I said backing up then moved back quickly and yelled "…DID YOU?"

then walked away leaving a very confused nurse we thebn went to our rooms leaving ampers keyand slept


	6. Chapter 6

I do not plan to abandon this story but might not be able to write regularly.

Read, follow, and review

I DO NOT OWN POKEMON

Chapter 6

"Alright rise and shine we're heading to the under to see what we can find." I said

"Why so early" Amper asked groggily

"Because that is when criminals are most active," I replied

"I'm already a sane version of dead pool but I can still be held captive I should probably have a means of self defense." Sam spoke up

"Shit you're totally right, but what's a dead pool?" Amper said

"Dude you haven't heard of marvel?!" Sam said shocked

"No why." she asked

"Don't worry about it maybe I'll show you later Amper, also Sam marvel isn't real here and you are now a steel, ground, and electric type to use moves think which one you will use and focus, we will practice later" I said

"So I m now as dangerous as your electric sword at your moms house now." Sam asked raising an eyebrow

"Dude you are a tank armed with tazers on steroids you could shoot thousands of volts through people, Joes sword pumps 24-36 volts and wattage through blood but needs physical contact to work. you are better" Amper said

"Speaking of my awesome stun sword you two need to train kipper and turd stick your team is only as good as its weakest member" I said

"Hah you said member," Amper said

"Dude any time you make a dirty joke you need to make a orgasm moan" Sam said

"oooooohhhhh-" moaned Amper

"Okay lets get training before this becomes a dirty joke contest" I said

"It already is" said Sam

"What ever just call out shit stick and dirt fish" I said

"Alright but its kipster and twiggy" Sam said annoyed

"Come on out guys" they, both said

As they materialized we herd "oh god kipster is starving!" we all looked down to see a mudkips where you could see its ribs.

"Jesus it speaks in the third person" said Sam

As I looked in horror Amper yelled "you never fed it?! I don't care how annoying he is you need to feed him even if he will be in his ball every one knows that!"

"Actually she didn't know she is from the parallel universe remember?" I said

"Kipster I'm so sorry here is a chalupa," I said

"Kipster wants to know what a chalupa is" said kipster

"food""

"oh thanks kipster is grateful"

"This is why I avoid him he is annoying and speaks in the third person" twiggy said  
>well I think its cute," Sam pouted<p>

"What ever you say Sam" twiggy said edging away

"Twiggy I like you, we agree mudkips are weird speaking of which we should battle together" Amper said smiling

"wait you're human you can't use attacks" said twiggy

"says who?" Amper grinned as her arm started sparking

"okay… but I wont take it easy on you-." suddenly the ground next to twiggy was chared

alright I warned you twiggy let loose o blizzard of razor sharp leaves that honed in and never missed he used magical leaf badly damaging amper then she used dischargefrying the leaves ind wounding twiggy

"shit you win I surrender!" Twiggy yelled

"alright lets see how sam and kipster are doing"

-"NOTE" -

THE ELECTRIC SWORD IS REAL IF ANY ONE WISHES TO OWN ONE ASK FOR IT IN COMMENTS. I MIGHT PUT UP BLUE PRINTS ON MY ACOUNT WITH INSTRUCTIONS 4 AA BATTERYS HALF DEAD GAVE ME 24 VOLTS WHEN THEY WHERE AMPLIFYED IF YOU ARE INTERESTED COMMENT I HAVE A PIC ON MY ACOUNT

DISCLAIMER: AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HARM DONE BY A ELECTRIC SWORD MADE WITH MY INSTRUCTIONS


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own any media franchise I swear just don't hurt me *whimpers pathetically*

Chapter 7

A we returned Sam and kipster were sparing, as Sam prepared an attack her arm gained a metallic luster as it cracked and snapped with electricity. She was about to make contact when she was knocked back by a mud slap from kipster she stayed down kipster then walked up only to get thunder punched in the face and was on the brink of passing out.

"Kipster thinks we should call this good for at least a week," said the dizzy mudkip

"Yah I pretty much owned your ass with that thunder punch." Sam said cockily

I watched as they finished "that was great I honestly thought you would need more practice but you are a natural not to mention those starters blue gave you were level-

"5 we know" Sam said

Try 45 they take longer to evolve than in games" I watched as her jaw figuratively hit the ground

"Though bug types and stone evolvers do it much faster" Amper pitched in

Any ways twiggy and kipster will evolve at level 50ish then Amper you will have grotle and at level 60ish torterra. Sam you will get a marshtomp at around 50 that will evolve again at 65ish

Jeez why keep the pokedex when we have you? Sam said

"Because if you sell yours and are injured with Joe gone because it has your false id and platinum trainer insurance you are without medical care leaving you thoroughly fucked over" Amper said rolling her eyes

"So by all means sell your jhoto/kanto citizenship and passport to an orreish man," she continued.

"What's trainer insurance?" Sam asked

"To start there are four types of insurance none, copper, bronze, gold, and platinum copper costs 2,000 poke dollars and gets you access to a Mr. cure and vaccines only while platinum costs 500,000 poke dollars per month it will get you a suite in any pokecenter and cover any medical bill you get from the pokecenter which can be anywhere from 100-10,000 poke dollars. Bronze and is copper with you only paying a percentage of any bill, a smaller one with gold.

"Well you will be glad to hear we don't need to fight cipher or snaggem, some guy with his girlfriend and an espeon and umbreon beat us to it" I said

"So can we leave the poke centers barely run and there is nothing to do in this dump," Sam asked

"No shit there is no tax revenue here and no one other than us here has insurance" Amper sighed

"Well lets go," I said teleporting

"noooooooooo-" Amper was cut off as I teleported her and Sam who had recalled kipster and twiggy to their balls long ago

"bleaghhh!" Amper hurled on the pokecenter floor

"Oh come on!" a nearby arcanine wearing a janitor's uniform yelled, "the smelly messes always happen on my shift and I'm the one with the sensitive nose.

"Wow Amper you really like pissing off janitors" Sam teased.

"Shut up" Amper said still throwing up.


	8. Chapter 8

Hibm chapter 8 i don't own pokemon read review follow

"Dude holy shit Amper you puking gave me an idea. I got mew to agree to tag along, pose as my Pokémon, bring both your pokeballs, and train my psychic powers." I said.

What could me throwing up possibly inspire other than nausea?" Amper yelled getting severely pissed, which I ignored. "And why does Sam need a ball?"

"She has 3 Pokémon types, remember she took out kipster in 1 hit. As for what you inspired, you reminded me of Newton's apple. We can, or rather mew and I can be invisible since we are the only psychics with truly unlimited power and I can wish for neutron part of a neutron star which is cool but a fist full of the neutrons can bend light with the gravity it has. We can put a permanent telekinetic force on that only allows it to bend light, so if it would hit us it would go around. We would be invisible"

"Wow Amper you will be famous, I can see it now instead of Newton's apple it will be Amper's upchuck." Sam teases

"No she won't, Joe just wish for invisibility. That way when you fuck up the whole solar system won't implode from a hyperactive gravitational pull," said mew coming out of pretty much nowhere

"Mew how is my ambiguously related buddy doing! I said.

"Great how are we related again?" She asked.

"We aren't clones or family in any way but I have a set of your DNA in me."

"Wow now that you mention it that is interesting and makes sense."

"So where to next, this time I wont puke." Amper said.

"Amper if you don't hurl I will stay in my mew hybrid form for a week." I said

"Deal "

"Ok prepare for Kalos in 3…2…1 bam prepare to lose the bet" I teleported us

I looked over and Amper looked sick but didn't puke "well shit I'm off to buy some energy drinks" I said reverting to my hybrid form

"Why" Sam asked

"I cant sleep the furries will rape me"

"Huh what's that?" Amper asked

"People who lust over animals or I guess in this world Pokémon, have conventions, and dress up as animals when they do it with each other. They also feel a need to have another word for any dirty term imaginable"

"Wow that's interesting" Amper said

"Yep now if you'd excuse me I'm going to buy 15 slowpoke energy's and enter a state of insomnia, come on cat of ambiguis gender"

"For the last time legendary Pokémon do have genders! Mew yelled

We will do some training later

Just so you know I don't hate furries, just pedophiles

on another note if you log in with your gmail account you can follow my story and get email alerts when i update


	9. Chapter 9

Shit forgot the disclaimer last chapter oh well you PEOPLE already know. Yes plural I know WolfyPup is not the only one reading given I have 500ish hits on this story you can now give anonymous reviews I turned them on as of 11-3-14 please review It would make my day .

I DON'T OWN POKEMON Read, follow, and review!

Hibm chapter 9 the antagonist (finally) appears.

5:30 AM next day:

I was playing Pokémon silver suddenly as I went through viridian forest a wild Pokémon "HOLY SHIT A SHINY KAKUNA" I yelled waking up the whole pokecenter.

"Shit its awake" I heard in the hall out side.

I scanned the aura and minds around me I only registered aura, a shadow assassin was lurking. I

(A shadow assassin is a humanoid dark Pokémon capable of powers I only use in absolute emergencies like wiping memories vaporizing people and Pokémon with a small hyper beam and they are stronger than machamp and can bench 1 metric ton and since its dark type it can melt In a shadow and materialize in any other shadow within 10 feet imagine the predator on steroids allied with Mewtwo that's how dangerous it is).

Suddenly I heard the door click open I switched types to dark fighting and vanished in to a shadow.

"Shit the lights are on" bang the light bulbs in the ceiling popped "much better" it said as it vanished.

I looked around and saw a grey scale version of the room the lit doorway was in color and the next thing I saw horrified me, I saw a pitch black silhouette of silver (the angry ginger kid from Pokémon silver gold and crystal who abuses Pokémon) with a long mane that had a thick blue scrunchie. I was standing before a hybrid.

Well you arent as big a moron as team darkness portrayed you, but know this, team darkness is composed of entirely zoroark shadow hybrids even if I die tonight-

CRUUUNCH! He was cut off by my fist breaking his nose "challenge accepted" I said preparing a kick to the sprouts but sadly he used protect. Suddenly I was thrown off.

I then received an upper cut to the jaw I shook it off with pure adrenaline I then retaliated with a bone rush composed of blades of aura to his gut.

As he bled out he said, "we'll be back" and died.

"Perhaps, but you sure as hell won't," I said as I kicked his head in

I then got up and ran to the phone called Amper and paced as I waited for her to pick up.

"WHAT?!" She yelled

"We have shadow assassin hybrids on our trail, and they probably cut off my portals given they seemed to know who and what I am" I tried to open a portal and couldn't "nope they are sealed."

"Shit!" she said.

"Take Sam and meet me by the pokemart the sun is coming up, stay away from shadows I'll meet you there. Have kipster and twiggy out they need to know about this, and Tell Sam on the way I'll be there after the body is gone."

as I walked to the front desk I noticed the nurse was gone oddly enougph so I went to the front desk and looked under it the nurse had stun spore on her face and was gagged.

"shit theres one with stun spore too? That explains how they got a room key though." I muttered.

"Gotta find the security camera monitors then I can save our asses." I said pulling her gag off.

"Go down the hall first door on the left, There's three guys so be careful-" she said.

"Two, I killed one. Thanks for the warning though."


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own Pokémon

Thank you shadow-the-eevee and WolfyPup for your continued support by following my story

Hibm chapter 10

As I walked down the hall I heard a voice "dude what is taking silver so long he was supposed to kill the mew like creature in its sleep." it said nervously then added "should we check on him?" then a second voice said "give him 5 minutes then we check"

I then made a revolver made of solidified aura appear and loaded it with little aura spheres. Mew then appeared behind me seeing the gun

"So a shit storm really did hit us," she said

"Yep, I need you to distract these two"

"Kay" she said vanishing

"Mew" she said appearing behind them

While they were chasing her I whacked the back of one shadow morph an umbreon K. him. Then the ivysaur morph spun around only to have me shoot an aura sphere through one ear and out another killing him painlessly

"All right tie them up… " I looked at the ground "and put him in a Mr. cure I said pointing to the guy with his brains blown out"

Once that was out of the way and I cleared stuff up with the jennies (who I'm pretty sure reproduce through mitosis by dividing in half) I ran to the mart and saw with Amper … and a guy wearing a brown coat in a headlock getting the shit zapped out of him… he literally had shit himself and then I noticed who it was

"No Amper stops please! Its me looker!"

"Amper stop it's the doctor!" I yelled as she let go

"Oh dear not again." he muttered and saw Amper charging towards him. "SHIT NO WAIT I'M NOT THE DOCTOR!" he yelled as he ran to an ally

"Wait!" Amper yelled

"Keep running you have a fan girl on your tail" I then added "and your tardus cant leave right now your stuck we both are!"

He stopped and looked back in with a face that plainly said what the fuck dude as I said this.

"DOCTOR!" Amper yelled as she tackled him.

He then got up ran to his detective agency, entered and locked the door.

" Well shit" Amper said.

"Thanks dumbass numbers 1 and 2 now looker wont help us get info on team darkness." Sam said

"True but you're forgetting something," I said

"What?" she said

"Well what time did you meet looker"

"7:40"she said

"What time is it now"

"its-"

She was cut off when Amper suddenly yelled "IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME AYEAH AYEAH AYEAH AYEAH PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY PEANUT BUTTER JELLY AND A BASEBALLBAT" as she danced

"IT'S SEVEN FORTYFIVE" Sam yelled

"Sam leveled up! Sam learned roar of time!" Amper said

"SHUT UP!" Sam yelled

"Sam learned frustration!"

Sam then punched Amper

"Sam learned dynamic punch!" I said

She glared at me

"Sam learned mean look!" I said

"I give up what were you going to tell me?"

"Oh that I used my illusion to show you that looker is over there" I pointed

Looker waved at us

I believe we have a common enemy step inside my office and we can work out an alliance


	11. Chapter 11

Oh my god I'm so sorry I took so long to update, my school life is murdering me especially English 4 or as I like to call it engrish 5 to piss off the teacher. I will take longer to write but will try to type 1.5 – 2 times more each time (700-1000 words). man some times I wish I was joe … that lucky basterd

I don't own Pokémon, read follow, review, and enjoy

Hibm Chapter 11

As we followed looker to his office we saw a figure leaning against the wall in a suit that had a helmet reminded me of a daft punk helmet.

"Who is that?" Amper asked pointing to the person in the suit that looked like it was pulled straight out of a daft punk album cover

"Huh what? I'm Emma, sorry if my appearance freaked you out I just came back from stopping a bank robbery the suit boosts strength and endurance…wait hold up why are you guys here? I never saw an appointment in the planner." Emma said taking off the helmet

"Nice to meet you Emma, I'm Joe this is my sister Sam and this is Amper." I said

"These folks here say they exposed a criminal organization composed of dark type Pokémon hybrids, and are now number one on this teams hit list." looker said

"Wait Sam did you find looker." I asked

"Kind of Sam suggested we look for "the po-po" this was closer though." Amper butted in

"Amper you have butted in too much, so you have two choices; you can leave get or get in the ball where you can still hear us."

"Shit, I pick the ball." Amper said reluctantly

"Wait!" looker yelled "if you put her in that ball you go to court, putting A human in a ball is 18 years in prison."

"yes because pokemon aren't sentient creatures that may not like pokeballs." I said my voice dripping with sarcasm as I enlarged the ball.

"All right I think that's enougph." looker said reaching for his hand cuffs

"What if I told you that you two are the only humans in this room?" I said

"I'd say your mental." emma said

"Amper transform back into a pikachu, Sam use thunder punch on the sink."

As Amper transformed Sam walked over to the sink her arm was snapping with electricity

"Stop! Fine maybe you guys arent human, just please don't electrify the plumbing." Emma said, as looker was unable to talk because he was in shock from watching one human transform onto a Pokémon, and another use a Pokémon attack.

"Alright fine so I don't have to arrest you, but what do we do about team darkness?" looker stated, still not believing what he just saw

"Well we could start with exchanging our numbers." Emma said

"But we have x transceivers and you have holocasters, are the numbers compatible?" Sam asked

"Oh yah they are like cell phones, you can call a burner on an iphone it's the same concept here." I said

"What's a cell phone?" looker asked

"I'm from a different world where yes we have computers but you cant store physical objects and Pokémon in the hard drive, there are no Pokémon this whole world is a media franchise. Cell phones and I phones are a form of communication device similar to a poke gear that we used back in that world, I hate that world I had a boring life there." I said

"Alright we will just sync each others number to our pokedexes done; we'll contact you if we learn any thing." Emma said

"Shit my legs are tired from standing and taking down 3 shadow assassins well we still have to get food." Sam groaned

"Well the pokemarts that aren't in pokecenters are pretty much grocery stores and there's a deli in the one by lookers office near the street corner." Amper pointed out

"Cool let's get squab" said Amper

"There are pidgins here?" Sam asked

"Nope just pidove." I said

"I hate those birds, they shit all over every thing" Amper said

"Well we should get some at a restaurant they will have better squab, but for now lets get some groceries since it makes no sense to sleep now"

"So yah lets go shopping" Amper said disappointed that they wouldn't get squab

"yah but how will we get money

your trainers insurance will cover half your bill for food and I can spawn items using missingno's powers which is why I have a nugget in my jackets lining to spawn money we'll get around the equivalent of $50 which is 5000 pokéyen per nugget depending on the supply and demand so yah." I said as 17 nuggets appeared in my pocket

I handed 5 for you two each and one for each Pokémon who will be temporarily human so they can shop.


End file.
